Tapping into the Calm

Anxiety pushes us to plan and prepare. We are doing that already: staying well-informed (while limiting our news and information consumption) and following guidelines for physical distancing and handwashing. The call to action in the previous blog post helped me find other things within my control and feel like I am still living as fully as possible in our current context. Even so, there are moments when anxiety and worry vine their way through the cracks in the foundation. So much of current circumstances during this pandemic, and during our pre-pandemic lives, is outside of our control.

We can transform the power of imagination that helps drive anxiety. Often our brains cannot distinguish between something that is really happening and something we are just imagining. Whatever it is we are worried about has not happened yet, and may never materialize, but we imagine it so vividly that our bodies react as though it has: breathing gets shallow, muscles tense, the jaw clenches. Let’s use that power to calm the body.

During the development of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) clinicians found that bilateral stimulation (BLS) could activate and strengthen clients’ internal resources (e.g. patience, resilience, perspective taking) helping them feel better able to manage their emotional distress. Clients would bring to mind the images, sounds, smells, and felt sense of being in a calm place, with a caring person, or back in a pleasant memory, as clearly as possible and begin to tap alternatingly on either side of their bodies. This could help with falling asleep, calming down before doing something challenging, or taking a break from strong emotions. You can try the meditation exercises below to strengthen your own inner abilities. Each meditation follows the same steps, below:

Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes. Imagine whatever internal resource you would like as vividly as possible. What do you see? Hear? Smell? Feel? How does that experience show up in your body? When you have a strong positive feeling, begin slowly alternating right-left tapping on the tops of your knees or by crossing your palms in front of you, hooking your thumbs together, and resting your palms on your chest, slowly tapping on your chest like the flapping wings of a butterfly. Check in with yourself. If something does not feel right, stop right away. You may continue tapping for as long as it feels good to you.

Choose your focus:

Go to a Calm Place: Bring to mind a place that feels calm to you, whether real or imaginary. Maybe it is a tropical beach you saw in a movie, the kitchen of your childhood home, the site of your dream vacation, or the first place you will go when you can leave the house again. Imagine the breeze, the smell of cookies baking, the novelty of travel, or the familiarity in visiting your favorite place in town. Notice what signs your body gives that it is relaxing. Add a few slow taps while you notice.

Reminisce About Spending Time with Loved Ones: Especially during this undefined period of physical distancing and limited social interaction, recalling the felt sense of being with loved ones can fool our brains into feeling, in this moment, like we are connected to them in a closer way. Recall the warmth in your chest and arms that you felt during your last hug or bring to mind the encouraging words of a friend. What felt so good in those moments? Notice that and add a few slow taps.

Recall Accomplishments: In the loss of employment many people have lost their sense of self, defined through their work and sense of accomplishment. In addition to using this time to explore other facets of yourself, you can tap in past experiences of accomplishment. Recall how it felt to be recognized after completing a project at work or to finally understand a difficult concept in a homework assignment. Do you feel yourself sitting up taller, pulling your shoulders back, raising your chin? Notice that. Play the memory through while you notice the sensations in your body and tap left-right.

Come back to the here and now. Take a moment to notice the sensations in your body. Going into your imagination for just a moment can shift how you think, feel, and behave in a productive way. Throughout the rest of the day observe that expanded sense of capacity. Are you approaching tasks with more ease, confidence, or from a different perspective? Notice that and let it carry you forward. If you recalled an accomplishment during the exercise just now, you might try visiting your calm place before bed tonight. Experiment to find out what works best for your life.

Jordan Jones, LICSW

Edited by Nehjla Mashal, PhD

Image credit: Photo by Pixabay

Image url: https://www.pexels.com/photo/beach-beautiful-boulders-calm-waters-315987/

Resources:

Bisson, J. I., Ehlers, A., Matthews, R., Pilling, S., Richards, D., & Turner, S. (2007). Psychological treatments for chronic post-traumatic stress disorder: Systematic review and meta-analysis. The British journal of psychiatry, 190(2), 97-104.

Cusack, K., Jonas, D. E., Forneris, C. A., Wines, C., Sonis, J., Middleton, J. C., ... & Weil, A. (2016). Psychological treatments for adults with posttraumatic stress disorder: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical psychology review, 43, 128-141.

Parnell, L. (2008). Tapping in: A step-by-step guide to activating your healing resources through bilateral stimulation. Sounds True. 

Shapiro, F. (2017). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy: Basic principles, protocols, and procedures. Guilford Publications.

Worry Box Meditation

The Worry Box Meditation:

What would it be like if you could let go of your adversarial relationship with your worries?  This exercise can help shift how you think about your worries, moving them from heavy burdens to a reflection of your concerns and values. Over time, this exercise is meant to cultivate a more compassionate relationship with your worries.

I am inviting you create and spend some time in your own room of comfort. Your room of comfort does not need to exist in reality. It might even be outdoors. All that matters is that when you open the door to this place in your mind, it is full of peace and just rightness. I want you give it as many of your favorite characteristics as possible. I’ll be asking you to think about your favorite  smells, colors, items, time of day, temperature, and sounds so that you can fill this room with these qualities.

Go ahead and get in comfortable position. Close your eyes and imagine your room of comfort. The attributes of this place evoke a sense of peace and pleasure in you. Here, it is the exact right temperature for you; identify that, feel it on your skin. Imagine how the room is lit, how bright or dim is it? What are your favorite smells? What are the sounds of this place? Is there music playing, do you hear birds chirping, maybe the whir of a fan, or maybe it is a place of silence? Bring them to this place. What objects do you see? What are the colors that occupy this space? Where are you sitting-maybe a couch, a desk chair, a porch swing, or even on the ground? Really take some time to study this room you have built in your mind. Breathe in the comforting smells, feel how relaxed you are here, in this serene place of your own making. Now, somewhere in this room of tranquility, there is shelf. Take a moment to find it. And on this shelf, sits a box. Visualize this box in great detail. It can be any type of box, it could be a gift box, a jewelry box, or even a shoe box. The only requirement is that this box is beautiful to you. What color is it? What shape is the box? Really envision it’s dimensions, really see this box in your mind’s eye.

Now rise from where you are seated and bring this box down from the shelf. Feel the weight of it in your hands. Now, place it in front of you. Slowly, open the box and set the lid down next to you. In this beautiful box, sit your worries. Your  worries are an orb of light. The orb glows red, your worries are irritated that you haven’t visited them here, in this space in your mind that is full of serenity and comfort. You hold the orb close out in front of you and carefully lift it to examine it.  These are your worries and they are important because they are yours.  Whatever you are struggling with, whatever you are concerned about, it sits here before you. And as you examine this orb of worry, it begins to change. The orb shifts from red to orange, orange to yellow, yellow to green, and green to blue.  Now, gently set the orb back in its box, replace the lid, and walk out of the room, a bit lighter than when you entered.

*This exercise adapts concepts from DBT’s distraction skill of “putting the pain on a shelf, box it up, and putting it away for a while,” EMDR’s use of light in meditation imagery (Light Stream Shapiro 2001), and CBT for GAD’s strategy of using a physical worry box.

Nehjla Mashal, PhD